Self Care

 

Start where you are. Use what you have. Do what you can.

Parsvottonasana/Pyramid pose is a standing forward bending side stretch of effort and ease. This stretch strengthens the legs, lengthens the hamstrings, helps improve stability, and allows release in the spine/upper body. Breathe in, expand your lungs, soften your upper chest, back, heart, head and neck. Connect your mind to your breath and your breath to sensation. 

Take care with moving, listen to the language of your body. 

To stay awake and aware in our world today requires a lot of effort. This past year has proven to be a difficult and heart breaking one for many of us. In addition to the devastation of the pandemic, we are dealing with continued violence, oppression and racism in all its ugly forms. To care is to put yourself in a place of vulnerability and exposure. 

As a daughter, sister, nurse, partner, and friend it is my job to care. As a caregiver, it is easy to put yourself aside and take care of others first. I know this because I have done this. Not putting boundaries or personal needs first creates depletion, strain and eventual breakdown. This wearing away of resilience and strength looks different for everyone, it may not be externally visible to others, and it doesn't happen overnight. Recognizing when we need to step back and find equilibrium is self care. Personally, I have many responsibilities that extend outward from my home into my community, and even further globally. As someone who believes in equality and justice, it is a struggle to fight such a large system that feeds on greed, power, money and selfishness. That struggle can wear you down, making self care an essential resource to keep going, to keep helping, and to keep supporting those in need.

For the past 20 years, I have worked with families in crisis. I know what suffering looks and feels like. I have had the privilege to care for people in all transitions of life and death. The witnessing of suffering, knowing the inevitability of it, and recognizing it is the first step to helping. Soothing others suffering is possible. It requires you to stay open, patient, and available without expectations. Sharing a moment with a stranger or a friend is humbling. I remember as a young nurse, many mentors told me not to cry with patients and families as it can be emotionally draining. The job remained exhausting on many levels despite my reaction to it. In time, I found that allowing myself to feel my emotions instead of masking them improved my ability to let go of the stress related to the difficult experiences, to be more present at work and at home. The willingness to listen to other people's stories and feelings is essential to begin the process of helping and healing. This is the act of compassion; to understand, to empathize, to sympathize, and choose to take an active role in relief. 

To live compassionately is to own your self care. 

The origins of self care are deeply political. I urge you to research the history of self care and the moments it received attention and promotion in the media. Self care is a practice of survival. Rest is essential, but is particularly important when anxiety, stress, fear, and grief become part of our everyday experiences. In my life, I have chosen to move, breathe, and meditate as part of my self care practice. It helps even small movements, a few deep breaths, and short moments of quiet time. This practice is one that I share in the form of yoga and reiki. 

Slow Flow Yoga

Wednesday 7:30p-8:45p ET

DM for details/link.

For those who can't make it to the live class, I've recorded free movement/meditation offerings. The most recent video focuses on Reiki as a (~ 20 min) self care practice, shares the 8 Reiki Self Holding Techniques: hands to head, eyes, ears, back of the head, shoulders/neck, upper chest/heart, upper abdomen, and lower abdomen. Reiki holds space to continue to care and support each other through compassionate help. Reiki is flexible, adaptable, it meets you where you are with no agenda, no judgment, and no expected outcomes.

"Caring for myself is not self indulgence, it is self preservation 

and that is an act of political warfare."

Audre Lorde 

2/18/1934 ~ 11/17/1992

In support of the importance of physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual self care this months free offering highlights the efforts of 'The Audre Lorde Project' (ALP). This months donation has been made to the ALP, which is a Community Organizing Center for Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Two-Spirit, Trans and Gender Non Conforming (LQBTSTGNC) People of Color Communities. Through mobilization, education, coalition building, and advocacy, the ALP promotes community wellness, progressive social and racial justice. 

As I write this, many states within the United States are considering legislation that will restrict healthcare, impose criminal penalities on medical professionals and parents that offer care to transgender youth. Even though these proposals are not happening in the state in which I live, the United States is an extension of my home which continues to promote inequity, violence, and ongoing discrimination. I have found that researching and educating myself has been the largest part of my activism. Reading and listening to other people's stories is an important part of finding connection and understanding. The Trans Justice Funding Project is a grant funding group that helps local communities organize, they offer great resources to groups who are committed to freedom of self expression.

Anti-racism, anti-oppression, and anti-violence work is ongoing and will continue for the rest of my life. My activism starts in my own heart, my home. I share the work with my kids to provide opportunities for discussion, to further understanding and open communication. It's challenging and difficult, but doing the right thing has never been easy.