Saturday, December 15, 2012

Let Go and Let Love


"Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal."
2 Corinthians 4:16-18

Letting go of those you love, losing those you love and having faith in the power of the universe is a tough lesson for all of us.  I know in my heart, the loss of a child is the worst kind of woe and we are all children of the universe. We create to carry on, to grow, and to have a legacy.  When a soul is gone before there is a chance to live, we are left with a hole so deep it is hard to imagine ever clawing your way out.  I am deeply saddened by those who suffer from mental illness, feeling trapped by their thoughts with emotions of hate and despair. Their wrath is great, acts of violence stimulated by their fear and negative energy wraps around us all. I am in mourning for those families who have been touched by disaster, devastation, tragedy and senseless loss, for their lives will never be the same.  Even though these people are strangers to me, they are my neighbors and I feel their loss as if it were my own. I send love, light, and hope for their future and dream of a day when we can all live in peace and the world can live as one.
Love, hold my hand
Help me see with the dawn 
That those that have left 
Are not gone 
But they carry on 
As stars looking down 
As nature's sons 
And daughters of the heavens 
You will not ever be forgotten by me 
In the procession of the mighty stars 
Your name is sung and tattooed now on my heart 
Here I will carry, carry, carry you 

Forever

You have touched my life
So that now
Cathedrals of sound are singing, are singing
The waves have come to walk with you
To where you live in the land of you,
Land of You
You will not ever be forgotten by me
In the procession of the mighty stars
Your name is sung and tattooed now on my heart 

Here I will carry, carry, carry you 
Here I will carry, carry, carry you 

Forever.
Tori Amos
 
This post is dedicated to the lives lost in all senseless acts of violence.
My heart is with those suffering now in Sandy Hook, CT.

Your inner island


"Don't cast away your inner island, don't cast away. Don't cast away your inner island. Your inner island, inner island.  Where you went as a child, is where you long to go, still. Where you went as a child, is where you long to go, still. Don't cast away."          El Perro Del Mar

There is an inner voice that speaks to us before we speak out to others. Taking time to pause, and listen to that inner voice is an undervalued virtue. Too quickly do we express our negative reactions to experiences, judging others and ourselves harshly. Inevitably the voice that speaks out too quickly is heard wrong or taken out of context, and we begin to regret it immediately. For me, I will often look back and obsess over what I said, or how I said it, reliving the moment in my head and kicking myself for it. Speaking from the heart, softly, quietly, respectfully and truthfully is rarely done especially when passion, fear or anger is involved. The way we say things is most important in the efforts of expression.  Verbal tone, choice of words and quality of communication can build walls or tear them down. I know from my own personal experience that it is with our most intimate family or friends that we fall short of this.  It is easy to forget, we have so much to remember in caring for ourselves and others while functioning in a stressful world day to day. We need to say what we mean, mean what we say, but don't say it mean.

Within us there is light and there is shadow.  Our light is made up of those parts of our being that have been commended, accepted and loved.  This light shines brighter when we acknowledge these qualities in ourself and in others.  Our darkness or shadow side is made up of those parts of our being that we experience as unacceptable.  Our families, friends and culture make it known early on which qualities are not valued or accepted.  We learn through our experiences, having been scolded, ignored, rejected, hurt or pushed away.  Dwelling on the feelings of shame and anger intensify our fears and disconnect us from others, we feel misunderstood and our natural coping emotions become buried deep within us.  Connecting with our mistakes, our fears, our regrets can only strengthen our light.  Remembering our own flawed moments of self-judgment and blame opens the door to forgiveness.  We need to forgive ourselves, love ourselves and listen to ourselves.  Create space for compassion within our hearts and minds.  Make room for love and patience in your daily activities. Pause, listen, and speak from the heart. Come back to your inner island, your self, the child within and feel life.